Chapter Five: A Slow, Steady March to Death (2014)

Here we go: Summerfest 2014

To begin, I fucking ran down here. I’ve never run to Summerfest before, and I don’t plan on doing it again.

I checked my cellphone at 2:40 PM. I was at least 2 miles away. I had to get to the main gate by 3:00 PM.

Anyone wearing a red shirt got in free before 3:00.

(I hate wearing red.)

If someone gave you $11.00 to walk around wearing a red shirt all day, would you do it?

I had a new red shirt that I was ready and willing to wear, and now it was getting drenched in sweat because even though Lake Michigan’s water temperature was 49 degrees Fahrenheit, the air hovering next to it was at least 70 degrees Fahrenheit, and, because I didn’t want to pay $11.00 to get in…

I ran at a pretty good clip for a few blocks, but then I stopped because my pockets were loaded with cash, credit cards, my cellphone, my digital camera, a condom, and four pieces of bubble gum.

Cincinnati’s Seabird just took the stage.

Ho hum first song.

They just clarified. They’re actually from Northern Kentucky, not Cincinnati.

Well, in that case…

Double ho hum.

I’ve seen two of them now.

Keep Calm and Chive On and the Summerfest one: Keep Calm and Smile On

(Let’s see who wins.)

3rd song now from Northern Kentucky’s Seabird. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I keep thinking about all the blood, sweat, and tears these guys pour into their music careers, and how they’ll peak with a song that makes it on some sappy television drama. They’ll play it for 30 seconds at the end of the show….Roll credits.

How beautiful. How sad.

Welcome to Milwaukee’s very own 11 day music festival. Some of the most beautiful people on the planet, stuffing their faces with whatever they god damn please, because we get about 3 months of reasonable weather in this northernly outpost, and we need to soak up as much of it as we can when it’s here (god damn it.)

Song #5 from Seabird.

(This has gone on long enough.)

Now with an IPA at PROF. The DJ before PROF was fucking fantastic. Great beats. Never annoying or boring. Couldn’t help but move my body, chair dancing on the bleachers as I checked my cell phone.

PROF: Atmosphere’s headlining in about 4 hours.

I wish the DJ’s were back on stage.

PROF = too many white dudes yelling and screaming on stage.

(Yawn.)

The beats behind the white dudes yelling and screaming better be fucking awesome to keep my interest.

(They’re not.)

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

It’s 3:30 PM and Ed Kowalczyk, the former lead singer from Live, is way too loud when he screams into the microphone. It might be the sound guy’s fault.

(It might not be.)

Now the entire band is too loud.

It almost feels unsafe for my eardrums.

Or, I might just be getting old.

I had to leave. Not only was Ed Kowalczyk too loud, but he sucked. No wonder Live ditched him.

Or did he ditch them?

Or WHO CARES?

Live sold out the Main Stage back in the 90’s.

(Now this.)

A slow, steady march to death….

For all of us, time keeps ticking, closer and closer to an outcome more certain than anything else we will ever know.

It’s so beautiful…

The will to keep living.

Gentleman….Mid 60’s….with his wife. Still limping into Summerfest.

(You’re goddamed right.)

Doesn’t matter how awful the ex-lead singer of Live is or was. He’s going out kicking and screaming, and for that I have admiration and respect.

(Good for him.)

At least he’s not spending the last few decades of his life tripping out on a god damned television.

I’m still glad I left, though.

(He was horrible.)