Chapter Ten: Light Years

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Summerfest 2018

I’m at some stage with some corporate sponsor with some classic rock cover band covering CCR at 3:20 in the afternoon.

(ON A WEDNESDAY)

I already downed a Guinness on the way down here, and now I’m working on a frothy Double IPA with a 9.8% alcohol content….they claim to have the aftertaste of pine needles in this thing.

(Whatever.)

I’m thankful for my current position in the universe.

(Very thankful.)

The lead singer here is pretty old, but he’s pretty gifted.

They’re ending with a Led Zeppelin song….

“Whole Lotta Love”

Dude’s range is impressive…..not stretching to hit those notes…

(Effortless.)

I’m happy to be here drinking a beer on a Wednesday afternoon….

Many of my 42 year-old-friends have had to stop drinking or have decided to stop drinking for one reason or another.

Some due to excess and loss of control, others due to health issues.

I drink more than my usual school-year-weekends here during summer, and I’m grateful to still be alive,

enjoying a potent beer and a potent lead singer for an otherwise average cover band.

There are two older ladies sitting to my right. They must be in their mid-60’s.

They don’t look cool at all, but I think they’re cool because they’re still alive and they decided to walk into Summerfest today.

(Good for them.)

I saw a funny shirt on the way in here: Some mid-50’s guy with a neon yellow shirt that read:

“My T-Shirt is brighter than your future.”

– Touché

Just heard the words “social media” in some horrible song while the cover band strikes the stage.

Horrible.

The song is horrible.

And I hate the words “social media”.

It’s like hearing the words “Stormy Daniels” out loud.

I have nothing against “Stormy Daniels” or “social media” per se, but I just hate hearing those words out loud.

Veteran cover bands are really good at striking the stage. Like clockwork, they were off in less than 10 minutes….and no one was bitching at one another…..IMPRESSIVE!

Two older gents are standing 3 rows in front of the uncool/cool ladies.

Now these guys are cool. Both in their 50’s. One is wearing a blood red button down shirt, sort of Hawaiian, but not really Hawaiian.

His buddy is wearing softer colors, but he looks just as cool. Both have beer bellies, beards, and Miller Lites.

The guy with the red shirt has longer hair but he’s clearly balding.

If I ever go bald, I’m shaving my head. No question about it.

I’m 42 this year. Grey hairs are starting to kick in.

But I’m certainly not complaining.

My debt is down to zero.

I owe about $70 a month to an athletic club, about $70 a month for my cellular device, about $200 a month for cable/internet/Netflix/Amazon Prime/HBO GO, and after that, I buy food, booze for the weekends and summer, and I’ll pay for lunch or dinner most of the time when I’m with Hayley. She pays the rent and I’ve paid off my once ridiculous credit card debt which was $25,000 at one point in the not-too-distant past.

I’m grateful for Hayley. She’s the most amazing human I’ve ever met. She’s my favorite human of all time. No question about it….

(and she hates Summerfest)

And the fact that she hates Summerfest is fine by me because I can come here by myself and drink and write and make fun of not-so-shitty but still-shitty cover bands and not have to worry about anything important.

Time slows down….For sure.

I’m light years away from a Wednesday in the middle of January, that’s for damn sure.

(Light years.)

A typical Wednesday in the middle of January is much, much, much more stressful than this.

I’m usually surrounded by dozens of kids in the same room, and it’s my responsibility to educate their brains….(in the middle of January.)

Teaching is no joke, no matter the month, but…

It’s about as stressful as it gets in the middle of fucking January.

This here is my reward.

This joy is what I deserve.

(Unapologetically.)

(I work my ass off for this. No doubt about it.)

It’s now 5:00 PM CST.

I’m at the Uline Warehouse.

I just ordered a BOLLICINI SPARKLING CUVÉE and I’m regretting it because they gave it to me in a petite light blue can with a straw.

HOW EMBARRASSING!

I’ve let my beard and my hair grow out since the last of school 2.5 weeks ago. This isn’t the look of a modern man, that’s for sure. Anyways….

REVEL IN ROMANCE finally hit the stage. 4 young gents in pristine white suits and the lead singer is a young female who doesn’t sing very well. Standard 2 guitars, bass and drums.

They’re from Atlanta, GA.

The lead singer lady is imploring Summerfest to jump up and down with them.

(Yawn.)

They’re polished but boring.

(Very boring.)

So I threw out my back two days ago lifting weights. Now I’m vaping CBD oil in a desperate attempt for a cure. I ran 4 miles this morning, overcoming the back soreness.

This REVELS IN ROMANCE band reminds me of the Chuck E. Cheese band for some reason.

Why?

Because they suck!

What’s more beautiful? Old people acting like they’re young or young people acting like they’re old?

I was thinking of using the word pretending, but both parties aren’t pretending.

(Clearly)

It’s so beautiful.

Both parties.

(Beautiful.)

I’m starting to think IMAGINE DRAGONS are the headliner tonight.

Never liked IMAGINE DRAGONS.

Always thought they were stock.

Nothing to see here….

(Keep moving.)